Most people were never truly taught how to feel. We were taught how to manage emotions quickly. How to minimize them. How to move through them without slowing down too much. Push through. Move on. Stay strong. Don’t overreact. Don’t be “too emotional.” And while those messages may have been well-intentioned, many of us learned to treat our emotions like problems instead of parts of ourselves that needed care and attention.

It’s easy to look outward for answers about who we are. We watch how others respond. We interpret their opinions. We measure ourselves through their reactions. It’s like using a window instead of a mirror.

Many of us were taught to chase an “A.” Achievement. Approval. Attention. And for a while, it works. It feels rewarding. Validating. It feeds your identity. But eventually, something starts to feel off.